A Series of Inappropriate Events

Performed at: West Kingdom Twelfth Night, January 7, AS LI (2017)

About the Plays:
This is a set of performances combined into one, three period pieces, the West Kingdom Choir performed, and Juan Santiago did some magic. This is the 'set':

The Farce of the Kettle Maker (source unknown)
The West Kingdom Choir (some songs, and some rounds with the audience participating, lyrics below)
The Farce of the Miller (source unknown)
The Magic of Santiago
Pyramus and Thisbe (the Interlude play from A Midsummer Night's Dream by Shakespeare)

Misc. Odd Quotes and Things:
One difficulty is that the event was held in Reno (Nevada). The problem is that after several years of serious drought, a rebound in the weather caused travel problems. Some folk went by train, some by car, and a few even flew to Reno. Coming home was the worst, if you left after a certain time on Sunday, some folk got stuck. The train had problems. All kinds of foo.

All of this meant logistical problems. The set was reduced to a smaller set than normal, among other things.

The Performance:
The performance itself came off fine, which can be seen by the video linked to below.


On the Golden Stag Player Channel on YouTube: A Series of Inappropriate Events OR
West Kingdom History Website: A Series of Inappropriate Events.

Available through the usual source ...: Golden Stag Player Videos.

 The Script(s):
The Farce of the Kettle Maker (Author/Source Unknown)
For the songs by the West Kingdom Choir, you would need to talk to Alessandro Cantori; the lyrics for the rounds are below (in the "From the Program" part of the page).
The Farce of the Miller (Author/Source Unknown)
There is no script for "Magic by Santiago" ... duh.
The script for Pyramus and Thisbe can be found in any copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream by William Shakespeare.

From The Program:

Overly Dramatis Personae

Prologue: Juan Santiago

The Farce of the Kettle Maker
Directed by Rose de Le Mans
ManSven Gotfriedson
WifeKatherine de Langelei
Kettle MakerMargrethe Astrid Ravn
The West Kingdom Choir
Directed by Alessandro Cantori
Maxen Dawel ap Morgan, Catherine Holcombe of Arden, Aasa Thorvaldsdottir, Katherine de Langelei, Aimeric de Foix, Carwenna Cornovi, Cera inghenna Corbbi, Collette de Reyncheval, Elizabeth of Dendermond, Geoffrey John, Geoffrey Mathias, Rebecca da Firenze, Thomas the Brewer, Vyncent atte Wodegate, Yngvildr Þorgilsdottir
The Farce of the Miller
Directed by Ghislaine d'Auxerre
The MillerIricus le Ferur
The WifeCatherine Holcombe of Arden
The PriestRose de Le Mans
BerinthMargrethe Astrid Ravn
SatanDonovan Synklar
LuciferMaxen Dawel ap Morgan
The Magic of Santiago
Santiagoas Himself
Pyramus and Thisbe
Directed by Ghislaine d'Auxerre
PyramusAasa Thorvaldsdottir
ThisbeIricus le Ferur
WallDonovan Synklar
LionSven Gotfriedson
MoonCatherine Holcombe of Arden
Maxen ServoMaxen Dawel ap Morgan
Crow T. RosebotRose de Le Mans
Stage ManagerMargrethe Astrid Ravn

Support Crew
ProducerJuan Santiago
SetsJuan Santiago,
Aldith Angharad St. George,
Rose de Le Mans
PropertiesThe Cast, Lyric Theatre
Costume DesignRose de Le Mans
CostumingRose de Le Mans,
Ghislaine d'Auxerre,
Margrethe Astrid Ravn
DrayageDonovan Synklar

Everyone has a tragic origin story.
We're pretty tragic.

Ghislaine d’Auxerre was purchased by gypsies as a toddler. They attempted to return her when it became apparent that she was creeping their livestock out with her occasional nocturnal howls. It was discovered that the family who sold her had moved leaving a hand painted sign that read "No refunds. All sales final." The gypsies soon found a troupe of actors in need of a costumer and cigarette girl. The head gypsy proclaimed "Caveat Emptor!" with a smile. The troupe shrugged and responded "Merry Christmas to you too!"

Sven Gotfriedson was found hanging from a tree branch that someone had clearly put a cradle in. Whether or not there was song involved to quiet the child is unknown, but given his current penchant for impromptu musicality one can only speculate.

Katherine de Langelei never knew her parents, but was instead raised by a kindly old taylor who taught her the ways of needle and thread. But something inside her knew that she needed to be making more than just clothes, she needed to be making costumes for the theatre. She ran away, joined the GSP and has never looked back.

Margrethe Astrid Ravn is not certain she has *lost* her parents, as she still hears them floating overhead, retelling the same story... or perhaps a never-ending thread which was started decades ago, dependent upon which bizarre bit of trivial has just surfaced from the depths of academia. Since she could never get a word in edgewise, she long ago left home to seek more tangible forms of mentor-ship. She currently can be found offering black licorice to the patron saints of snark, in hopes to learn the secrets of a perfect rolled hem.

Juan Santiago never knew a life before he met the strange wizard that told him to hide inside the hat next to the rabbit. But he knew, if he just paid close enough attention he would learn the wizard's secrets and once he did he would be able to escape that carroty dungeon.

Alessandro Cantori’s life of adventure began when, as a small boy, he was bounced out of a runaway haywagon and vanished into a snowbank, not too far from a musical instrument shop. After digging himself out, he sought refuge and gainful employment there. A few years later, he was rescued by a traveling troupe of performers when it was discovered that in addition to carrying kazoo parts, he could also carry a tune. Today, he directs singers everywhere he goes - barehanded, because it was learned the hard way to never, ever, give him a baton.

Iricus le Ferur was once asked to be in a play. Little did he know it was run by a cult of golden antler worshiping thespians. seriously? who worships antlers???

Catherine Holcombe of Arden was born to a no-name King and Queen who had no use for a daughter, so they gave her to the local Commedia troup to be used as the Baby Jesus in their Nativity play. Needless to say, she's never left the stage since...and as she deems it her life's vocation, she finds no higher purpose than to give her ALL to whatever performance she's in. This occasionally wreaks havoc with props, fellow actors/Directors, critics and neighborhood dogs, but she perseveres and keeps finding herself back onstage often (or is that orphan?).

Rose de Le Mans was discovered in a covered pipkin, hung from the handle of the workhouse door, with nothing but a change of linen and a book of etiquette. That book became her companion and guide, by which she judges the moral worth of all who would know her. Those who eat peas with a knife are especially suspect.

Donovan Synklar lost his family to a platter of bad shrimp. Now he takes his revenge by brutally consuming all the shrimp he can. Donovan is now engaged in an acting troupe to fund his shrimp-munching missi -- WHADDAYA MEAN "WE DON'T GET PAID FOR THIS?"

Aasa Thorvaldsdottir -
A is for Aasa, whose parents were eaten.
B is for bear, whose meal they did sweeten.

Maxen Dawel ap Morgan was very young when his parents went on an extended trip to the continent and never returned. For a time he was raised by his older siblings but one day his sister sold him to a band of itinerant scribes in exchange for a rare copy of the White Book of Rhydderch. They immediately put him to work, but his penmanship was very poor so he spent the rest of his childhood correcting misplaced apostrophes.

Vincent - After losing his parents in a bear attack, Vincent was raised by wolves, until he learned he was forbidden to eat chocolate. Abandoned by his second family, he joined a group of actors, but can't quite shake of the desire to growl at people who try to steal his blanket. He expects to be abandoned for the third time, and hopes his giggle will attract a new family, preferably one who won't send him to school.

Rounds with The Choir

Go To Joan Glover
Go to Joan Glover and tell her I love her
and by the light of the moon I shall come to her.

Hey Ho What Shall I Say?
Hey ho what shall I say?
Sir John hath carried my wife away.
They were gone ere I wist, she will come when she list.
Hey, trol-ly, trol-ly, lol-ly. Coe a-gain ho.

Three Blind Mice
Three blind mice. Three blind mice.
Dame Ju-li-an, Dame Ju-li-an.
The miller and his merry old wife
she scraped her tripe, lick thou the knife

I Lay With An Old Man
I lay with an old man all the night.
I turned to him and he to me.
He could not do so well as he might
but he would faine, but it would not be.

(None so far ...)