Beowulf: A Comedia in Three Acts
by
Margrethe Astrid Ravn

Performed at: West Kingdom Twelfth Night, January 9, AS L (2016)

About the Play:
Margrethe Astrid Ravn had an idea awhile back ... and now it is coming to fruition. A Comedia rendition of the ancient tale of Beowulf, set in more "modern" times -- 16th Century Italy. She spent a lot of time working in the scenario with her Laurel Aldith Angharad St. George, and the result is that this is what was produced by the GSP at 12th Night!

Misc. Odd Quotes and Things:
"Hold onto yer hets!" -- GSP Annual Picnic when the decision was made to do this play.

The Performance:
It worked, the play was funny, the audience laughed in "all the right places".

 Photos:
(Waiting for photos)

 Video:
On the Golden Stag Player Channel on YouTube: Beowulf, the Commedia

 DVD:
Available through the usual source ...: Golden Stag Player Videos.

 The Script:
The scenario can be found here: Beowulf Scenario. Please note the standard "Royalties" if you wish to perform this (if unsure, go to "Main Menu" on left, find "Royalties" in menu ...).

From The Program:

Dramatis Personae
PrologueJuan Santiago
Dorothea of Caer-Myrddyn
Hrothgar, King of the DanesIricus le Ferur
Unferth, his SeneschalRose de Le Mans
Frewaru, his daughterKatherine de Langelei
Astrid, her servantCatherine Holcombe of Arden
Froda, King of the HeathobardsMaxen Dawel ap Morgan
Ingeld, his sonDonovan Synklar
BeowulfPiot
Wiglaf, his servantAimeric de Fois
GrendelNiall Mór mac Cernaich
Grendal's DamGhislaine d'Auxerre
ZanniMargrethe Astrid Ravn,
Vincent Synklar,
Alessandro Cantori,
Aasa Thorvaldsdottir

Support / Crew
Director / ProducerJuan Santiago
Costume DesignAldith Angharad St. George
CostumesRose de Le Mans,
Aldith Angharad St. George
SetsJuan Santiago,
Iricus le Ferur
PropertiesThe Cast
MasksThe Cast
DrayageGhislaine d'Auxerre
VideoHirsch von Henford

About the Play

In celebration of the 50th year of the SCA, we have taken great pains to research and recreate the very first A&S competition entries, a theatrical production of the classic tale of Beowulf. Being a modern Commedia troupe, we did find this a bit of a challenge, but we felt we could bring this classic work back to The West Kingdom.

As this work does focus upon the deeds of monsters and heroes we felt it only appropriate to research and bring to you a bestiary of our own.

Cast & Crew Biographies

Maxen Dawel ap Morgan - LVL 25 Math Flayer
Alignment: Pedantic Neutral
The Math Flayer uses a voice attack consisting of a mathematical analysis of dungeon geometry, height variations of NPCs, airspeed velocity of passing avians (laden or unladen), etc. Anyone in range must save vs. boredom or fall asleep for 2d8 minutes. Most parties can avoid the Math Flayer, since it will leave in disgust if confronted by a claric or any character with INT < 9. In addition the Math Flayer will stop attacking if it is given some pi.

Rose de Le Mans - LVL 31 Dire Dyer
Alignment: Chaotic Maniacal
The Dire Dryer is a rare odiferous smellemental. Capable of emitting a wide range of smells capable of doing a vast amount of damage, this smellamental is particularly nasty. Roll to save against noxious odors. Failure to save incurs 2d10 minutes worth of congestion, and 1d6 points of damage due to loss of nose hair.

Katherine de Langelei - LVL 12 Damsel in a Dress
Alignment: Chaotic Blonde
Armed with a +3 stuffed sheep of Nauseating Cuteness vs. gullible men. Often encountered in deserted castles guarded by dragons. All Dudley Do-Rights must make a "will save" throw or succumb to her pitiful cries for rescue. "Do you like Boo??"

Catherine Holcombe of Arden - LVL 15 Squeeing Banshee
Alignment: Neutral Late
Upon receiving news she considers "good" (may not be good for the players) she lets out a terrifyingly high-pitched wail which causes panic and disorientation in a 30 foot radius (save vs. ear plugs). If she has been drinking players are at a -5 to their save.

Iricus le Ferur - LVL 34 Iron Merchant
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
The Iron Merchant is an NPC that you'll come across in towns. Usually a Dwarf clothed in small metal plates all over, even the face and hands. They are not hostile unless you make a saving role against Charisma with a penalty of -6. Upon a failed save the player is waylaid for 2d20 minutes and has to listen to the virtues of various makes of Horseless Carriages.

Donovan Synklar - LVL 28 Neural Devourer
Alignment: True Neutral
This psionic monster, which looks like a brain with four wickedly clawed legs, burrows into the heads of sapient creatures, consumes their brains, occupies their heads, and controls the body telekinetically. The abandoned husk, generally, then goes on to become an actor, politician, or both.

Piot - LVL 10 Political Shark
Aligment: Lawful Chaotic Lawful
The Political Shark is usually vound swimming around courts and congress houses looking for any opportunity to muddy the waters with double speak and jingoistic lingo. If he gets a successful attack the victim must roll a save vs. confusion or end up voting for the wrong candidate.

Aimeric de Fois - LVL 42 Floating Eye of Argon
Alignment: Chaotic All-Over-the-Place
The Floating Eye of Argon is a large, spherical mouth with many smaller mouths on each tooth. One-third of the smaller mouths will attempt to eat anything in sight; a second third will attempt to tell the listern its incredibly convoluted, badly-worded, and improbably-plotted life story. The listener must Save vs. Mind-Numbing Stupidity. A failed roll means they are struck dumb, but are incredibly bad at math, since they would have had to roll a -10 to miss in the first place. The final third of the mouths will attempt to both eat and talk at the same time, and hence are much less effective.

Niall Mór mac Cernaich - Level 36 Grassy Niall
Alignment: Neutral Furry
The Grassy Niall is rather misunderstood. It is not, as some might think, a terrain feature, but instead a large furry monster. When sleeping, which is often, its shaggy coat causes it to resemble a hill covered in vegetation. Players facing a Grassy Niall must roll a Will Save. If successful, they may cuddle instead of fight. If unsuccessful, they are compelled to look for a second archer in the spellbook depository.

Ghislaine d'Auxerre - LVL 41 Were-Dachshund
Alignment: Neutral-giggly
The Ghislaine is a pleasantly appealing woman for 22 hours and 12 minutes out of the day. For the other hour and 43 minutes, she (they're always female) changes into a soft, curly coat dachshund that loves lying in bed under all the covers and gets kicky feet while sleeping. You can play with her and bring her treats until she reverts back. The sudden change in temperature makes her snarly and compels her to kick you out of bed, leaving the treats. Upon seeing her form, th eviewer must make a Save vs. "d'AWWWWWWW". If the viewer fails, they are captivated and will forget their quest entirely.

Margrethe Astrid Ravn - LVL 40 NPC Tavern Keeper
Alignment: Neutral Exasperated
This is the one to go to when you want to know where the monster is, where the treasure is buried, who the allies are, teh works. Some say she got out of the wandering minstrel business to set up shop. Some say she was a merc who grew tired of watching friends die over and over. Whatever the reason, if you ask her a question and she starts to smile? Worry. -6 to any roll involving Fast Talk or other Charisma-based rols to shift the purpose.

Vincent Synklar (debut) - LVL 1 Human NPC
Your standard starter character, still sorting out where to go and what to do. Useful for running errands, delivering messages and clinging. One thing is for certain, whatever it is - it involves lots of giggles. Charisma bonus +5 to escape capture (not evade, just escape).

Alessandro Cantori - LVL 6 Mute Minstrel (unique)
Alignment: Chaotic Goofball
Undisputedly the most jolly, ineffective, and annoying of the undead, the Mute Minstrel was once a Level 6 Street Performer Second Class, doomed by a stream calliope explosion. He now wanders the earth, permanently surrounded by a 5'4 and 1/6" diameter Sphere of Invisibility, with a -4 penalty towards Monsters Beings of Sinister Descent. He is constantly engaged in his Merciless Mocking attack, which causes no damage, hindrance, or disadvantage whatsoever. When cornered he may respond with a Silent Serenade, causing a precipitous drop in Wisdom for all nearby characters who are taller than him. Save vs. Antinondiscombobulation for half damage.

Aasa Thorvaldsdottir - LVL 30 Dire Herald
Alignment: Lawful Evil
SubmitterPlayer must make saving throw vs. documentation. If failed, player must wait six months for a reply from LaurelGM.

Dorothea of Caer-Myrddin - LVL 100 NPC Wandering Lore Mistress
Knows entirely too many things about things that no one gives a damn about. +2d10 modifer to escape, roll INT + "gnaw leg off" to evade damage when encountered, roll WIS + survive boredom when she starts to discuss vital roll of penguins in modern Tolkien reference backstory.

Hirsch von Henford - LVL 59 Palimpsest
Alignment: Neutral
While appearing to be a mild-mannered herald, the Palimpsest is actually a historian who loves telling tales of events past, even though he wasn’t necessarily there. When encountered, the adventurer must roll a save against boredom (at a disadvantage of -10 on a d20) while listening to the tale. If the save is not made the Palimpsest will mysteriously grab one random magic item from the adventurer’s stash and keep it (the adventurer must tell the tale of where it came from). Defeating the Palimpsest gives the adventurer all of its hoard – which may be substantial. One may attempt to distract the Palimpsest with a tale of their own, but it must be a story the Palimpsest has not heard before, and the adventurer must be prepared to defend dates and facts to the Palimpsest’s approval (1-3 on a d6 – 50% chance of success), with the same results as a save against boredom.

Aldith Angharad St. George - LVL 58 Licorice Lich
Alignment: Lawful Black
The Licorice Lich appears to be an undead costumer, but is actually alive, but lacking in coffee (black). This creature appears to be scheming, and some say insane. In reality they are constantly envisioning new and interesting garb (“No capes!”). A Licorice Lich’s weapons of choice are needle and shears. However, a Licorice Lich fighting without weapons uses its’ natural weapon – wit and sarcasm. Most adventurers save against this attack at a -5. The Licorice Lich’s major downfall is a fondness for, you guessed it, licorice. A cautious adventurer will always carry licorice sticks, Scotty Dogs™, or black jelly beans. Using these will distract the Lich and the party can escape quickly.

Juan Santiago - LVL 47 Sarcasm Elemental
Alignment:Lawful Unamused
The Santiago is a being of pure sarcasm, capable of mocking anything that falls within its line of sight. Adventurers encountering a Santiago have a chance to dodge out of the way, but if they are caught they must make a saving throw vs. withering quip or be stunned for 2d6 rounds during which they can only stand there with their jaws hanging open like the patheic mouth breather it knows you are.

The GSP: Double entendres? We can't even afford single entendres.

Reviews:
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