Blah. Not feeling the Xmas spirit …

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We got our cards out late (busy Thanksgiving weekend), still have not bothered to get my butt in gear and back into coding … weather has been odd, and very cold (for the Bay Area) — lots of influence from Alaska , so have not been exercising (walking).

Just not … all that excited. I need to find that interest again. Have just about finished doing a “marathon” of Doctor Who … started with the reboot first season and worked up to last season. Have the DVD for the first half of the current season. Have been spending a LOT of time in front of the TV … that needs to stop.

Add to it that we found out that an old friend passed away. CJ and I hadn’t been in touch with her much over the last 10 or so years … but I always liked her. Elaine Wilzig (I knew her through the SCA). She was like a mother to another friend (Dani), who is the one who called last night to let us know. Elaine was a nice person, gave the feel of a typical New York Jew — which I realize sounds like horrible stereotyping — but it’s not meant to be — she just was that type of person. Very strong and intense personality. A fierce friend. CJ somehow disappointed her somewhere/somehow and they lost touch with each other. She’s pretty broken up by it, though. Dani was really close to her, and will be heartbroken for awhile, I fear.

On the plus side, sales of my books got a boost when the CEO of dBASE asked to bundle them with Black Friday and Cyber-Monday sales over the Turkey Day weekend. I think I made more over that weekend than I did over most of the rest of the year. I can’t count on that kind of continued sales, but still, it’s a nice boost.

Two of the tech items I helped Kickstart arrived on Monday:

  1. The first is a private cloud server (Pixeom), which is kinda cool. Some interesting software on it (store-front/shopping cart; “clubs” — basically newsgroup type software from what I gather; file sharing …), it hooks up through the router and is available over the web, but only if you know how to get to it, and have the right passwords. They have some other encryption as well, so hopefully it’s fairly secure. They haven’t got all the support set up (user groups, etc.), but it seems to work. Need to figure out what I’ll do with it. This was the first item I helped Kickstart. It took a long time to get to this point (changes in technology, etc.). Hope the company does well.
  2. The second is a “side monitor” for notebook computers. I got two monitors in my Kickstarter package. This one also took a long time due to issues with manufacturing, and so on. Turns out that it relies on specific cables to display info, and neither my notebook or my wife’s have the right ports, so I had to order a couple of converters. Sheesh. Waiting to see how that works. I hope my wife’s computer has enough USB ports (it requires a port for power, and a display port — which can be USB with a converter). This is from a company in England (Packed Pixels), and I thought it was really cool. Once my converters arrive I’ll find out … ;)

I have helped Kickstart some games and gaming tools in the past, and that’s been fun. Of course, not working really (income not being guaranteed from anything I’m doing right now) has meant I’ve been staying away from looking at new projects. Have one game I’m waiting for … they’re shipping in batches. Sigh.

No clue about the job I put all that effort into (the one with the scenarios and screen cast) … haven’t heard anything, which is sadly most likely the end of it. However, I’ve been surprised before. Not holding my breath waiting for anything … and won’t pester them about it. It’s just frustrating. I’ve been through this before, and will just have to move on. I’m tired of getting my hopes up only to have them dashed to the ground and stomped on. Sigh.

Not feeling depressed, so much as just feeling like I’m in a rut, not going anywhere … I am not happy, not sad really, just … not getting anywhere. I fear this is where my father was around this point in his life, and he didn’t live past 64 … I’m 58 now. I want to do better than that. I think my father just gave up as much as anything else. I don’t want to be that, don’t want to do that. I want to be more productive than that. It’s frustrating because I think my age at this point is making finding work that much harder.

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About Ken Mayer

Who am I? That is the question, isn't it? Over the years I have been many things. I assume this will continue. At the moment, I am actively seeking work. I am married to my wife of 23 years, am active in the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism, Inc.) ... and much, much more. The purpose of this WordPress site is to put my "Autobiography" here, allowing for easier commenting and such. We'll see how that goes.

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